I’ve been slow with blogging lately. My life has been crazy lately – and as J says, everyone’s life is crazy, life is always crazy, it’s never going to be less crazy – but in my defense, life also rarely drops an overnight out-of-state business trip, a leaking kitchen ceiling and flooded kitchen, and a freelance job into a week where I’m trying to buy a house, have opera tickets with my mom, and need to plan and pack for a major trip that will include my only sister’s wedding. All while keeping up my regular work schedule and trying to fit in yoga time. I’m usually busy, but this is a little much even for me.
In all of this activity, my attitude has been to take things one step at a time. In buying a house, we are doing our best to plan for the future, but we can’t possibly plan for everything that could happen. All we can do is to make the best plans we can, and then we just have to take the risk. It’s inevitable that we’ll overlook something or forget something, and there will be plenty of things that don’t go according to plan, but we can’t do anything about those things yet. We can’t even predict which things they might be. But if we stop moving forward because we’re afraid of what could happen, then we’re never going to get anywhere. We do our best to plan and prepare, and then we have to take the leap.
This weekend was stressful and demanding. I tried hard just to focus on where I was and doing what I could do in that moment. There were a lot of things that needed to get done that I could not do while sitting at an airport or on an airplane, so I had to let go of worrying about those things. F felt stressed about our finances and about taking such a big step in buying a house, but it wouldn’t do any good for me to get all worried too, so I focused on being calm and supportive when he needed it. Last night F told me I’d been really zen all weekend, and I was glad to hear it. So often I get worked up over these sorts of things, but this time I was able to approach all the upheaval with a sense of calm.
This week will also be stressful and demanding. There are only so many things that I can do. I will do my best to do those things as well as I can, and then let go of the rest. Sometimes all you can do is just sigh and throw another few towels on the wet kitchen floor.