For all of May and a lot of June, things were really up in the air in my life. All the upheaval affected my home practice of yoga in a big way. Even once things began to calm down, I think I still used it as an excuse, a little bit. Also, I typically used to practice yoga at home in the morning before work; now that I’m doing the teacher training program, I have to go to the studio at least once a week, which means skipping my morning practice and going to work early so I can leave the office early and get to the studio. Doing that throws my schedule off for the day, but I’ve also been letting it throw my whole week off.
Last month, I managed to do my pranayama breathing practice almost every day, but I could never get into a rhythm with it; I kept realizing at the very end of the day that I hadn’t done my pranayama yet. At least I was doing it, but I always felt like things would go better if I could have a regular schedule.
For the past five days, I have practiced my pranayama and meditation every morning. I also practiced yoga on four of those mornings. I started the week feeling really pumped up and excited about my commitment to my new schedule. Today I feel less like that.
On Monday, I had taken a personal day from work, so I had a 40 minute yoga asana practice. I worked on some savasana relaxation techniques, did all my pranayama breathing, and meditated for four minutes. Really felt calm and content afterwards.
On Tuesday I squeezed in a 20 minute yoga asana practice, which is better than nothing, did an abbreviated version of my pranayama breathing, practiced yoni mudra (which is a pratyahara thing I’ll post more about later), and meditated for 4:30. I felt distracted during the meditation, like my mind was drifting a lot. I think I might have been trying to shove too many activities into one practice.
On Wednesday I skipped yoga asana because I had to get to work early. Did an abbreviated version of pranayama breathing, practiced yoni mudra, and found that meditation is more difficult without some yoga stretching first, because my back hurt all through my meditation practice.
Thursday, I did 20 minutes of yoga asana, all my pranayama breathing, and tried passage meditation for the first time (based on the book I’m currently reading: basically, you meditate on a brief passage from inspirational literature). I loved it and the time went by really quickly.
Today, I had time to practice, but I only did 30 minutes of yoga asana and an abbreviated pranayama breathing practice. I started off strongly with meditation, but when my alarm went off at the end of 5:30 minutes, I realized I had dozed off. I was still saying my passage in my head, but I was mixing it up with other things and all kind of dreamy stuff was drifting in. I got up from meditation feeling sleepy and heavy and unrefreshed.
This morning, I staggered back to the bedroom after my sleepy meditation, feeling bad and upset and like I would never be able to succeed at this thing. Looking back over my journal and typing it all up now, though, I can see that I had a mostly successful week of meditation: a lot of good experiences.
I think that this week has just caught up with me today. The reason I took a personal day on Monday is because we bought a house and we had our settlement on Monday; we’ve been either been packing or over at the house every night this week. I have slept really well all week, but I don’t know if that’s being tired or if it’s the meditation helping me calm my mind. Maybe a little of both?
My hope for this month is that I can keep up with the good habits I started this week. Mr. Easwaran writes in Passage Meditation that when you are the busiest, you need meditation the most, to help you deal with all the things in your life. He also writes that missing even one day of meditation can really set you back, and that you should persevere and keep at it no matter what happens. So that’s what I’m going to try to do this month. We will be moving into our new house, dealing with repairs and settling in and tons and tons of yardwork, so we’ll see if meditation can carry me through all that.