The parakarmas, discussed in Sutra I.33, are four attitudes that, if we practice them, will help us in our relationships with other people. Swami Satchidananda says that if you’re going to remember just one of the yoga sutras, it should be this one, for the power it has to help us keep a serene mind.
The sutra reads as follows:
By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind retains its undisturbed calmness. (page 54)
Nischala Devi translates it just a little differently, with a little less judgment on the “wicked”:
To preserve openness of heart and calmness of mind, nurture these attitudes: kindness to those who are happy, compassion for those who are less fortunate, honor for those who embody noble qualities, and equanimity to those whose actions oppose your values. (page 77)
Let’s take a look at each attitude in turn.
- Friendliness/kindness toward the happy
Why wouldn’t we be happy to see other people being happy? Maybe the other person has something we don’t have and we’re jealous, or maybe we’ve just had a bad day and the happy person’s good spirits get on our nerves. But feeling jealous or annoyed won’t do anything to the other person – all it does it disturb you. You can’t have a calm mind or a peaceful heart when you’re full of jealousy. For your own sake, then, when you see a happy person, cultivate a feeling of friendliness towards him or her. Even if you’re having a bad day, don’t get annoyed; think to yourself, “I’ve been happy like that before, and I will be again.”
- Compassion for the unhappy/those who are less fortunate
I don’t like to talk about politics, but I feel like this is a very hot topic in the USA right now. Many, many people in our country are suffering under a poor economy, have lost their jobs, can’t find work, can’t afford their homes, can’t support their families, can’t afford medical care. And yet with so many suffering, our political leaders talk about how not enough Americans are paying income tax and how we should raise taxes on those people while preserving tax cuts for the very rich. This is more than wrong-headed thinking; it’s not compassionate. I found Warren Buffett’s recent article in the New York Times to be a really interesting example of compassion.
Swami Satchidananda points out that there’s often an impulse to blame the suffering person: he must have done something to deserve this. If you’re homeless, just get a job! That girl shouldn’t have been having sex, so of course she’s in trouble now that she has a baby. But if we are truly practicing yoga, we must live in the present moment. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past; this person is suffering now and deserves our compassion. As yogis, we must also strive to understand others, to truly put ourselves in their shoes. There may be all kind of circumstances that prevent someone from finding a job (including a bad economy!), and without knowing that specific person’s story, we can’t judge. Imagine how you yourself would feel in that situation and how you would want to be treated. All we can do is to treat people compassionately, with mercy, and work to help and serve as best we can.
Swami Satchidananda also reminds us that the purpose of these attitudes, these parakarmas, is to preserve your own serenity. Being cruel to others hurts you too! But if you know that you were compassionate, that you tried to help, your own mind is set at ease. If nothing else, living with compassion eases your own heart.
[…] us keep our calm in relationships with other people. Check out my past posts on the parakarmas: friendliness and compassion, and celebrating the good, staying impartial to the […]